practice › top-level practices/categories › interpersonal practice

formulation 1 (including Many Protocol):

[(strategy flavored; mutual epistemics flavored):]

A move M could be in the context of conversational or other local, real time interaction. Or a move M could be composite and part of a long-term plan. So, a move could be right here and now (or soon), taking place, once initiated, in a single moment or across a small number of contiguous moments, or a move can be planned for future, as part of a global strategy, or anywhere in between. And the number of people considered can be from n=2 to n=billions.

Less obvious moves, in addition to particularly other-directed moves: "non"-moves, receptive moves, waiting patiently moves, self-care moves, time out and stopping temporarily or for a longer duration moves, being-helped moves (e.g. free-associating, saying what’s most bad, saying don’t feel safe disclosing X, saying prefer not to do X without explanation or apology), listening quietly, going with the flow of what the other person is doing...

And, to be sure, we’re "moving"/"move-ing"/making-moves continuously and contiguously. We can’t turn it off. Any "non move" is a move.

It can be helpful, when doing the many protocol with new people, to start with just five minutes at a time, maybe trying five minutes just once in a single day, then five minutes again or ten minutes the next day, and so on. If it’s not working, don’t force it! Just do solo meditation or some other group activity.

It can also be helpful to start very far apart! Everyone ten to thirty feet away from each other! And then move in slowly over minutes or even days.

    1. Consider at least n=2 people: A (you) and B (someone else)
    1. Consider a provisional move M that you can take. (Some possibly counterintuitive valid moves M could be e.g. "waiting attentively" or "hopefully being genuinely attentive and responsive while simultaneously planning a move.")
    1. Classify M as one of the below:
    • a) bad for A and bad for B
    • b) bad for A and good for B
    • c) good for A and bad for B
    • d) good for A and good for B
    1. For the selected classification in (2), of (a)-(d), classify this classification further as one of the below:
    • a) believed false by A and believed false by B and actually false
    • b) believed false by A and believed false by B and actually true
    • c) believed false by A and believed true by B and actually false
    • d) believed false by A and believed true by B and actually true
    • e) believed true by A and believed false by B and actually false
    • f) believed true by A and believed false by B and actually true
    • g) believed true by A and believed true by B and actually false
    • h) believed true by A and believed true by B and actually true
    1. Carry out the move M or return to (1). Of course, you can return to (1) at any time as your real time interaction unfolds or other conditions change.

alternative presentation:

  • Consider two or more people, A and B or A and B, C, D, E...
  • Consider a potentially taken move M, under consideration.
  • Consider that the status of M if taken is exactly one of the following:
    • Believed good for A by A and believed good for B [, C, D, E...] by B and actually good for A and actually good for B. [...]
    • Believed bad for A by A and believed bad for B by B and actually bad for A and actually bad for B.

alternative presentation: [yay = good; bleh = bad] "Many Protocol" (Last updated: 2019-09-06; 09:19 CDT)

[See some interesting definitions in Appendix 2]

(1) Let there be A and B, which comprise a group G. A is a single person. B could be a single person or multiple people.

(2) Person A considers a move M. M can be (a) physically verbal, physical nonverbal, mental, or even (b) a "non-move that’s still a move." Examples of (a): a verbal observation, verbal question, a verbal request, a quizzical look, a shrug, eye contact... Examples of (b): thinking about what to say, waiting patiently, waiting patiently with an open mind, leaving the vicinity temporarily... Moves can be complex, that is, moves can be made of submoves that are simultaneous and/or sequential in time.

(3) Now, say, something can be "yay" or "bleh" for someone. And, something can be believed to be yay or bleh for someone, by someone. And, two or more people, at a particular time, might disagree as to whether a particular something is yay or bleh (for someone or in general). Also, say, for our purposes, that there’s a fact of the matter or a ground truth, that that particular something is actually/truly (contextually, for a particular person at a particular time) yay or bleh, with no other possibilities. And let those possibilities be possibilities for M. That is, we can have a big list (exactly 64 items) of things that could be the case for M, where only one entry/line in the list is true at a particular time. That list is in Appendix 1.

(4) Now, so, person A selects and makes the best move M they can make, in consideration of as many moves as they have time to consider, and in consideration of the 64 possible classifications of moves (in Appendix 1).

(5) So, now, the move has been made, and results have obtained. And, now, everyone in G implicitly or explicitly chooses a new A and B(s). Now, go to (1) or (6).

(6) If things are moving smoothly and slowly, then, at any particular time, with perhaps some periodic indeterminateness, there is only one A and everyone else is a B. If things are moving smoothly and more quickly, then everyone is simultaneously, at the same time, at all times, both an A and B. Now, go to (1).

appendix 1:

  • (1) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (2) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (3) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (4) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (5) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (6) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (7) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (8) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (9) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (10) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (11) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (12) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (13) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (14) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (15) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (16) M is believed yay for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (17) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (18) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (19) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (20) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (21) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (22) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (23) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (24) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (25) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (26) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (27) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (28) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (29) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (30) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (31) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (32) M is believed yay for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (33) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (34) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (35) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (36) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (37) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (38) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (39) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (40) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (41) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (42) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (43) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (44) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (45) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (46) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (47) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (48) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed yay for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (49) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (50) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (51) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (52) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (53) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (54) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (55) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (56) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed yay for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (57) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (58) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (59) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (60) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed yay for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).
  • (61) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (62) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly yay for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s). (63) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh * for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly yay for (all) B(s).
  • (64) M is believed bleh for A by A and believed bleh for A by (all) B(s) and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by A and believed bleh for (all) B(s) by (all) B(s) and actually/truly bleh for A and actually/truly bleh for (all) B(s).

appendix 2:

  • yay = the true nature of yay must come to be understood over time; one’s understanding will be revised again and again, possibly calling it by many names along the way
  • bleh = the true nature of bleh must come to be understood over time; one’s understanding will be revised again and again, possibly calling it by many names along the way
  • sacredness = rightly or wrongly it would currently be catastrophically, critically bad if this [sacred] seemingly/apparently/expectedly extremely heartrendingly/body-rendingly good thing X were not actually good/​true/​real/​obtaining/​existing/​something/​etc
  • illusion = for better or worse, something that is not actually true/real/obtaining/existing/something/etc
  • inversion = incorrectly believing that something bad is good or that something good is bad (contextually, generally, universally, something, etc.)
  • resignation = deciding (perhaps in the distant past and having forgotten) to never (try to) get some good thing, person, place, situation, context, experience
  • deferral = deciding (perhaps in the distant past and having forgotten) to get a good thing (perhaps much, much, much later) disgust/revulsion/hate/rejection = response to being seemingly or actually choicelessly/inevitably felt subject to past or expected, seeming or actual (felt) harm/hurt you currently lack the ability to [i.e. can’t] adequately predict, control, or repair with negligible enough opportunity cost
  • atonement/​reparations/​restitution/​redemption/​apology/​repair = 
  • love = abstract and/or felt and/or skillful concrete actions arising from accepting a person, place, or thing exactly as they are, have been, and will be/become (it is, has been, and will be/become)
  • compassion/care = abstract and/or (heart)felt and/or skillful concrete actions arising from the felt desire/want, need, longing of a person (or persons, specific or general or universal) or other feeling/mindful being near or far to be free from suffering
  • loving-kindess/kindness/care (metta) = abstract and/or (heart)felt and/or skillful concrete actions arising from the felt desire/want, need, longing of a person (or persons, specific or general or universal) or other feeling/mindful being near or far to be happy/​joyful/​satisfied/​satiated/​complete/​content
  • wisdom = ability to take skillful action; ability to not have to make hard, terrible choices; ability to realize when a choice between bad and worse is an illusion
  • self-transformation, cranking [like turning a crank], bootstrapping = the production of wisdom on the path = ability and propensity to self-transform, crank, bootstrap no matter one’s current level of wisdom
  • full/complete X = X that contains no inversions
  • belongingness = being in a stable situation where you are able to knowingly, reflectively accept, receive, experience (relatively or completely) full/complete/non-inverted love, compassion, and kindness, etc.
  • connection, mutual belongingness = you get to be completely you, you can go anywhere in yourself and come back with with anything, and so can the other people around you, and it’s ok; it's safe (and good) for you and them, all the way down (ideally)
  • wise, mutual belongingness = stable community in the face of uncertainty, inversion, and resource constraints along many dimensions

4341 words · main · also: 116